Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I believe in your delicious
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
