i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
