Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
