I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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