He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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