I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
