For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
