just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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