i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
