I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
