We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
