Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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