This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
