i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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