He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
