where am i from again
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
