grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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