I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
