What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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