You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
