Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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