and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
