I'm eating all of the evidence.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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