Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
