I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
