My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
