Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
