Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
