There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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