so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
