my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
