Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
