can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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