okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
