i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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