We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
