I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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