I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
