The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm both gender and math confused
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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