why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
