I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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