id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
