My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
