just tell him i said nine months
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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