no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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