that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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