I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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