Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
