those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
