How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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