Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
