stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
