you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
