I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
