i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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